Disheartened

Today afternoon was one of the really good ones this year. Sharing and spending time with friends who are dear to me. However as the little meeting ended a certain topic arose. The topic on certain people being over spiritual and how such people can be uncomfortable to be with. I asked what that meant, to be over spiritual and if such a term really had meaning. To be to Godly? To involve God in all things and all conversations to sneeze God, to breathe God? Inquiring further i got a description, "I would not want to be around people who are always saying I am good in the Lord and stuff like that", but why? At the time I got confused and tried to agree with the conversation but as I got home I thought about it and it crushed me. 

Christianity has been painted a certain way lately; uncool, boring, weird, extreme, radical etc. These are the kind of terms we should be proud of. The bible says we are aliens of the world, we do not belong to it and we should not love the things of the world although we are in it. What is really horrible is that fellow Christians are not proud to be "very spiritual", it does not always have to be about God , is what people think and believe. Why is this! Do you know it is always about you when it comes to God. God is seated in Heaven doing all He can to show His love grace and mercy the word of God even says in Ephesians 1.4  "For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love 5 he[b] predestined us for adoption to son-ship[c] through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will— 6 to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves". God chose us before He even created us, He thought about us before we came into being so why should we set Him aside even for a minute, why should we forget about Him, why should we lay Him aside for particular times, why? Why should He seat there and think about us but we forget about Him for a second. He is our hope our love, our fiber, the giver of life, the creator of all things. Colossians says that everything was made for Him, through Him and by Him. He is in all, The book also says that Christ is all. I am not calling us to be crazy fanatics no! Do not try to be anything just let Christ control you. Let yourself die and let Him live in you, you must decrease and He must increase, John 3.30. Do not forget God , do not, He is the only reason you can do anything , Acts 17.28 for “‘In him we live and move and have our being’; as even some of your own poets have said, “‘For we are indeed his offspring.’

Are we also forgetting God's command to love God with all our mind, heart and soul. That is the whole element of our being. We are called to love God not just to love Him but to cherish Him. Read the book of Psalms, it was written by those who had fallen in-love with Jesus, we are to love God and write Psalms to Him because of how much we love Him. God says in Joshua 1.8 Study this Book of Instruction continually. Meditate on it day and night so you will be sure to obey everything written in it. Only then will you prosper and succeed in all you do. Let us fall in-love with Jesus. He delights in you, He is jealous for you, He died for you, He is your only Saviour, do not for one minute forget about Him. He is all, He is in all. Love God with every breath you take, desire Him like a deer that pants for water. Grow madly in-love with Him, He is madly in-love with you. God has the whole universe to think about, but He thinks about you, He knows about you, you only have your life to live and you dare forget Him. Do not, let Him overflow your heart. 

We love because He first loved us.

Love always, Hilda.

PS

Proverbs 3.5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.

Romans 1.28-31 And since they did not see fit to acknowledge God, God gave them up to a debased mind to do what ought not to be done. They were filled with all manner of unrighteousness, evil, covetousness, malice. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, maliciousness. They are gossips, slanderers, haters of God, insolent, haughty, boastful, inventors of evil, disobedient to parents, foolish, faithless, heartless, ruthless. 

A lot..

Whoever said the journey is easy lied, it is extremely difficult. I think mainly because we are in this body that came short of the glory of God a long long time ago. 1 Peter 4. 18 says it well, And, "If it is hard for the righteous to be saved, what will become of the ungodly and the sinner?"




The struggle with sin is not just for baby Christians it is also for the mature ones. In fact the more you grow in Christ the more you see how terrible you really are, the more you realize you need Christ and only He can make you Holy, no wonder God said only He is good. The Bible says that we should keep awake for the adversary the devil is always on the look out for someone to devour. The Bible also says that we should walk by the Spirit.

Last week was a bit strange for me. I made a serious back track. Fell back to things I had thought I had over come. What a troubled soul I became after. I figured we live and we learn, but how many times are we living and learning. God is one of grace and forgiveness but sin hinders our growth in Him, hinders the beautiful intimacy with God that we are called for. I am starting to become more and more aware of the sin in my life that I would probably not have noticed maybe 6 months ago.

It is a bitter sweet place to be. I now realize I am in for a lot of loss. Everything is starting to change now, even my dreams and aspirations. Through all this I put my trust in God for He knows best. He has what is best, I mean He is God. I am not talking about materialism but rather my soul, the person I am, He is doing wonders and works that I know I am have no reality of as of now.

Consistency and readiness. Am I really ready to lose everything for Christ? I have pondered on this and my answer is yes. So help me God. I know it will be hard but I have my Bible and God to guide me. I want to live and grow and glorify Him all the days of my life. He is all there is and anything outside Him is useless. To love God to my last breath to my very last breath.

Bring it on! But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. Philippians 3.7
 Love always Hilda.

PS Mark 8.36 What good is it for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul?
    Mark 12.30 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.'
     Ecc 11.9 You who are young, be happy while you are young, and let your heart give you joy in the days of your youth. Follow the ways of your heart and whatever your eyes see, but know that for all these things God will bring you into judgment.
   

Crashed To Dust

I have said time and time again that it has been a tough few last years. It has but it has also been really really great. Many nights I cried, many days my head was held down. I am still recovering and knowing how to hold it up again. Except I can't do it on my own. I can do nothing without Him.

I was an excellent girl, no doubt I really was. I felt I lived such a perfect life. I let go of His hand one day and things came tumbling down, it was bad decision after bad decision. Some things also just happened to me and I wondered why, well it is really because I walked that road and therefore collided with those encounters.

God took all my camouflage away, my excellent academic camouflage, my bubbly personality camouflage, I think even my hair broke cause of Him haha. You know in this day and age it is so easy to put on a face so that you feel and show to be alright yet deeply you are empty.  However for me their was nothing to spare I lost the shine.

I lived in the past for so long, I wondered how I was once that girl. The reason I write this today is because, I am beyond grateful for the experience. Walking through that desert I learnt only to rely on Him. He taught me dependence yes dependence, dependence on Him. I could not have a nice day if I did not look up to Him. I could not smile if He did not shine on me. He became and has become my life, my breathe, my existence, my best friend, my pain, my sorrow, my joy, my pout, my sunlight, my rainy day and my love. He is truly my all.

I now do not have to present myself for the appraisal of man. I now feel no hurt when insulted. I now have nothing to prove to myself or to anyone. All I care about is God. I have become sensitive towards people's needs, I have gotten better with service, I have increased in esteem, I have become a slave to God and a liberated soul from the world. 

It is still a journey that I am walking. I have become more aware of worldliness and more drawn to holiness. I have learnt to trust and be filled and satisfied in Him. I have learnt that I need to decrease and He needs to increase. God is my life, there's never taking that away from me. He is the only constant, the only truth, the only home that I know and I will ever know.

Love always, Hilda.

Forgiveness

As my holiday comes to an end one thing that I know I have learnt is forgiveness. I let people I know that have hurt me that they are forgiven and they let me know that I am forgiven by them. More than this though is the forgiveness of God that I came to be in reality with.

Psalms 32 has just done it for me and I am more than grateful for the Scriptures! Thank you God that we can read about life in the Bible; life in you.

If you have known me for the last 3 years you probably think I am the most confused person. I was confused, I would say this one minute then the next minute I do the exact opposite. It is not an easy place to be, confusion is horrible. It is up to this holiday that I came to know what caused the state of my confusion. The reason has always been the feeling of guilt towards God. I sinned against Him and did it over and over then came back asking for forgiveness, I did not even take myself seriously at some point. I was so inconsistent in my walk with God, it was unbelievable.

Having come to full repentance I now feel steady and very encouraged. I will just quote bits and pieces of the Psalm so that you as well may be encouraged and realise that God forgives, He forgives more than 70 times 7 times. He is a great God, you just got to know HIM!

Psalms 32.1 

      Blessed is the one

    whose transgressions are forgiven,

    whose sins are covered.

2 Blessed is the one

    whose sin the Lord does not count against them

    and in whose spirit is no deceit.

3 When I kept silent,

    my bones wasted away

    through my groaning all day long.

4 For day and night

    your hand was heavy on me;

my strength was sapped

    as in the heat of summer.[b]

5 Then I acknowledged my sin to you

    and did not cover up my iniquity.

I said, “I will confess

    my transgressions to the Lord.”

And you forgave

    the guilt of my sin.

So exactly like the Psalmist my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long, I was depressed I have lost a lot of weight since the days I lived right, I was not ok. Life was not clear and I was empty inside I did not know what or where I was going with this precious gift of life that God has given me but I tell you today I stand a forgiven daughter. I will be mocked and laughed at because people think I will fall back to the foolishness that once sapped my strength as in heat of summer. I may stumble but I will not fall. Blessed are they that there strength is in Him, my strength is in the Lord's and that my friend that is a big statement. I do not stand ashamed and defeated anymore for His forgiveness has come I am a new creation, I am running the race of life to attain my prize of eternal glory hand in hand with my Jesus. I am free, free from all condemnation for in Jesus Christ there is now no condemnation! God is good!!

May you come to reality with your forgiveness in Christ.

Let's Get Fat!

Hi, I had not planned on writing but I just know I feel like it.

Today or rather yesterday because it's now past midnight,I spent time with a very special person, he is special because he radiates love, simplicity and kindness.Every time I meet him, he's always much better than the last time.

... before I continue I feel the need to read a few chapters in the bible.... Ok the reading has taken place.
I know that sometimes we try and read God's word and lose focus and concentration or sometimes we just forget after an hour what we have read. It can be discouraging but I have great news for you. The fact that you read and felt wow at that particular moment that alone is like taking lucozade after a long run. You may not remember after an hour or so or less but the particular moment you felt amazed at the Word, that was a moment of praise and worship a moment of fellowship with God and a moment to know God better. There's a contemporary saying that goes "people may not remember the words you said but how you made them feel" so yes its quite similar to that. This however is not to encourage forgetfulness.

I just read a verse in 1 Timothy and the concept is that physical exercise is of some value but spiritual exercise is of greater value for this life and the one to come. I find it astonishing that our spiritual life and how we go about it now will also be of value in the life to come, maybe God will have like class A B and C as p


er how you did in your faith here on earth but really I don't know. You know the way you have to eat to keep alive and when you do not you pass out here and there like a silly goat? (I have passed out because of going a day without food, bad old days haha!) Your spiritual life is no different, if you don't read the Bible and don't fellowship with God you starve yourself, your inner self. You refuse to feed the spirit you die, you stop knowing the difference between right and wrong, you become depraved. This is why today there are so many things that seem somewhat right and acceptable but to God they are completely wrong. My best example is profanity, bad language is used everywhere and it is sort of okay.

Cutting to the chase; stop giving so much attention to the burgers and salads and neglecting the word. Feed yourself daily with God's word be an obese and over sized spiritual man, in the spirit man the fatter the better. Jesus told Satan "man shall not live on bread alone but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God".

Let's get fat!

PS the first paragraph is in incomplete thoughts, I am not sure why I have left it there but it serves its own purpose, God knows.

Let's get fat!

-love always Hilda

What's Inside

It's almost four o'clock in the morning, I said I would be asleep by 11p.m; maybe tomorrow.

I have really been thinking about what my first post should be about and I am telling you I really pondered so I have decided after my late night meditations, I will simply write about my experiences. I find it scary by the simple fact that to do this is to expose myself.

I am changing my mind about the above fear however, because I understand that God has me now. I am His child and He is in my heart. 

I wake up every day feeling ordinary, some days are worse than others. However the past one month has been different, I feel hopeful more hopeful than I have ever been. I have gone through so much, I do blame myself for the wrong choices but I forgive myself. I think God makes us perfect if only we obey Him and do exactly as He says, but I really wonder if it is possible when confined in this human form , but Galatians 2.20 speaks of a man (Paul) brought to perfection, for he no longer lived but Christ lived in Him. I think the magnitude of this particular verse is not comprehended as well as it should be.

My thoughts are all over the place, I came here to tell you about love. L-O-V-E. The thought of it overwhelms me, it does my throat even hurts and I feel the tears threatening a water fall. Love there's nothing as beautiful as it, God says love your neighbour as yourself, what!! What God is saying is that you love that idiot who stole your iPhone, the one who said horrible things about you, the one who's insults made you look like a loser; as yourself. God says you forgive that person and treat them nice. How is that even possible! It's not, it really isn't, He likes to set standards that we can't achieve, so unfair. With God however it is possible, it really is, in the Bible a man called Stephen was being stoned for being innocent and nice and do you know what he said, "forgive them Father for they know not what they are doing!" surely Stephen, he was a mad man, if I was being stoned to death for being good my last words would probably be " set a special corner in hell for them Father that they may remember this day!" let's hope I wouldn't feel that way though.To get to a point in life where you can be like Stephen I know will take a great deal of surrender, faith, obedience and reverence with and for God. I want to grow and I am growing. With faith He changes us in ways we would never ever imagine, He makes us into something new. I wish I could tell you that you change in a day, you do not, you will continue to stumble but with faith and Christ you do not fall back the only way is forward from then on. God is love, let him show you how to love.

It's different nowadays, talking about Christ is even considered offensive, people will say you are imposing on them but guys talk to me about soccer all the time, how about I feel imposed on because they want me to know everything and they act all rudely-shocked when I say that I don't know how many goals Messi scored in 2013! That was just a random example  which is nothing near the matter on Christ, He is ineffable, He is not even a subject matter, He is the one who holds everything, the one who made Messi, the one who gave you the mouth , the ability to create an interest in soccer, He is beyond everything you know, everything you have felt, everything you have seen, everything you have perceived and have experienced.

Of late it's all about cleaning the outside. Finding the perfect shoes, perfect lipstick, perfect car, perfect... I think it's great to look nice and feel nice but having the perfect face and job with an inward shrekness will ensure a horrible life. Let us clean up the inside. How do we do that? Pick up your Bible, ask God, He will help you with that.

I forgot to introduce myself and my blog. My name is Hilda, I've been living an ordinary life, I am changing and my blog is also to encourage your change, to help those who feel ordinary know that they are special and also to encourage people.  My blog's name OakingTheAcorn comes from the old saying , 'from little acorns do big oaks grow' . It simply means I am an acorn that will grow to be an Oak. 

Let's all make it to heaven. 

  -love always , Hilda.